Sicknesses and relationships

Hey there

So I’ve been very sick. It started as a sore throat. Which wasn’t too bad but annoying. Then I got really congested and coughed a lot. By the end I lost my voice. So I was miserable for two weeks. But now I’m feeling much better. I still have a slight cough but its not bad.

We went to the Buckcherry, Avenged Sevenfold, Shinedown and Saving Able concert on Friday. It was fun. My first real concert. We drank a lot though and left early to get through traffic.

I think I’m going to get a third job. I’m just not making enough right now and I know Ryan is getting frustrated with me. I’m debating if the Real Estate business was really a good idea. I think I like it. I’m just not sure.

J text me the other night to see whats up. I don’t know if I mentioned but he moved to Madison to live with his new girl friend and changed his phone number. So that was working well on getting him out of my mind. I’m actually doing really well on that front. Ryan and I are doing well and are happy again. Its a little funny that this whole J thing made us stronger. I would never have left Ryan for anyone but I wasn’t happy. Now we’re both putting effort into our relationship and its going much better.

That’s enough for now.

Melissa

Of crazy bosses and (murderers?)

I know I know its been too long.

Not too much has happened lately. Just the usual I guess. Working and partying.

One thing though last Friday I had to work at my waitress job. Well my sister has to take me because Ryan’s still at work. I get there and I know everything is not well. I went about my business starting to get things ready. I see one of the cooks leave and ask whats up. She came in with a sick note and came work I’m told. OK whatever. Well then the boss is throwing a fit. I guess he called his son to come in and work and he wouldn’t. So instead of being rational and finding someone else he flips. He closed down the whole restaurant before we even opened the doors. Then he and his wife sit and fight about it. Hello if we’re really closing someone needs to call everyone else and tell them not to come in!!! So I did it. Then I called Ryan to come pick me up. I was pissed!!! Halloween and the one night I work that weekend and now we have no cash at all! So that was pretty stupid.

Here’s whats bothering me now. So Saturday night we were out at the bar. Our buddy Shane comes up to me and says he just heard on the scanner that someone died in our apartment building. OK don’t know the whole story so didn’t worry about it to much. We ended up back at our apartment for the after bar somehow. It was OK except for these people we didn’t even know that someone else invited. They were rude and the next day we found out someone shut the breakers off for the fridge and the spare bedroom. Not cool! And now our spare set of keys seems to be missing. That may be my fault. I’m not sure.

Well the next day we find out what happened in the paper. I guess this guy and his girl were partying in the other building, then somehow she ended up shot in the head. I guess the downstairs neighbor helped and called the cops and everything but the cops are saying there’s no evidence that she did it to herself. So he did it. But I guess he says its an accident. Either way he did it. Well now on facebook they have one of those clubs you can join to support him. I just don’t get it. What was he doing with a handgun and drinking that he “accidentally” shot his girl in the head. I suppose I don’t know the whole story but I’m not so sure we should be supporting this man. Now he’s out on bail. I just don’t get it. I’ll let you know more when I do, it just bothers me.

I’m getting over a cold right now. I’ve been asleep on the couch since Sunday, in a foggy coma. Its been strange and crappy but I’m getting better and ready to not be home anymore! I’m getting a little stir crazy.

Night,

Melissa

Like I said

Just like I figured Val (the neighbor) knocked on my door around 3am. But it wasn’t to party. She was wasted and didn’t know where her keys were. The guy she was with was not impressed. She used my bathroom and we set to work calling the people she was with and the bar she was at. No one knew where her keys were. Then she called Ashley to cry to her about it. “Val” she said “I drove your car to my house, I have your keys”. We all laughed at her and she left to go get her keys.

She came back later to thank us.

It was funny!

Melissa

Cat over the balcony

Well Thursday was boring.

With this deal being done I finally feel relieved. Less stressed. I slept late. I had to work but it was slow. My sister had to take me to work and she was late. So I arrived about 15 minutes late. No good! Very slow actually. I had three tables and left early. We went and grabbed something for dinner and came home. We sat down to eat and heard a loud noise on the balcony. Apparently when I was outside waiting for my sister to show up the cat came out and I didn’t know it. I shut and looked the balcony and left. Well when we were sitting there he saw the light on and jumped back over the balcony. Oops! He wasn’t to happy. My other cat was even less happy because he didn’t smell like himself anymore. Sorry Mason!

Early Friday morning when I was still awake I decided to go for a cigarette. Well J just happened to be getting out of his truck at the same time. He came down and had a smoke with  me. We chatted for awhile then he told me how much he thinks about me and the things he wants to do to me. I didn’t say much. I couldn’t. What kind of girlfriend would I be? So I just smiled and blew it off.

I cam inside and tried to get some sleep. He text me again that he wanted to stop back for a cigarette. I told him he smoked my last one. So he told me to go to sleep and called me a hot mama in Spanish. No good!

How am I suppose to get him out of my mind when he says things like that?

I love Ryan. I love Ryan. I love Ryan. AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!

Anyway so I worked tonight. It was OK. Not too busy though. I’m thinking even slower tomorrow.

I’m waiting for the neighbor to come home from the bar if that’s where she is. I’m expecting her to knock on the door and have me come to the after bar party she usually has. We’ll see.

I’m also expecting J to text or call when he gets home and sees the light and TV still on. Stop thinking about him!!!!!

OK I’ll shut up!

Melissa

CLOSING!!!!!

I waited by the phone for the call. The call that said “something went wrong and we can’t close”. But it never came.

So on my merry way I went, an hour from home, to the title company. My buyers were already waiting for me in the parking lot. They had been the for twenty minutes. When we entered we were greeted by the title officer. She said the loan officer and the other agent were ten minutes out. So we waited awhile, making small talk about this and that. Their excitement was clearly visible.

The loan office was the first to arrive followed by the other agent. After spending so much time talking to these people on the phone, they looked nothing like I imagined.

We greeted each other. Followed shortly by “we have a problem” from the loan officer. My heart sank. My buyers faces dropped. We sat there listening to him talk on the phone with the other title company. Some of the documents had the wrong county listed on them. Also my buyer is a junior and it wasn’t listed in most of them either.

The husband buyer walked out for a cigarette. I watched him clearly cursing from the window. After about 15 minutes they said they cleared everything up and we could continue. My buyers were overjoyed.

So there we sat. At the closing table. Them being overflown with information and documents to sign. Me observing anxiously, just waiting for something to go wrong. After an hour of paperwork my buyers had signed about 50 different things if not more. Then we were done!

The other agent came in and presented them with the keys. They were so happy. They couldn’t wait to get to there new home. They rushed thier goodbyes and practically jogged out the door. I loved the feeling of seeing them be so happy knowing they finally owned their own home!

So home I went. Smiling and happy knowing I just helped someone with one of the most important things of their life, buy their first home. It was great!!!

When I got home I bubbled over with joy that I helped them and that all the difficulty was over to my smiling boyfriend. He said he really wanted to take me out to celebrate but we couldn’t afford it right now. That’s OK with me, we’ll do it another time!

So we went to mom’s and ate dinner with them.

It was a great day!

Melissa

Pole dancing and hangovers

So it was a loooonnnnggg weekend!

We drank Thursday night. Not a good idea! Ryan ended up not going to work Friday because he forgot to set the alarm after drinking. Then I had to work Friday evening. I was tired. I thought we’d stay home Friday night and sleep.

Wrong again! We ended up going to the bar Lisa was working at. Then she shut down there and we went to the next bar. Then when we got home we partied at the neighbors. I ended up pretty drunk and not feeling so well.

Saturday we had a wedding reception to go to… at a bar. We got there later in the afternoon. Then we went with my parents and sis to a Portage bar. After awhile dad wanted to go so he left mom with us. We stayed at that bar for awhile. And well they have a pole. Well me and mom ended up taking turns pole dancing. Not good! We went to another bar then came home. J ended up texting us cuz he couldn’t sleep so he came over for awhile.

Sunday we just sat on moms deck all day hungover.

Monday I hung out at home. I thought about cleaning the apartment but my arms were killing me after pole dancing. So I just relaxed. Then we went to moms for awhile. J called cuz he saw our TV on and couldn’t sleep so I chatted with him for awhile.

Today I slept. I didn’t sleep all night so I slept all day. Then we went to moms and come home and did some cleaning finally!

Tomorrow I have my first closing! We are finally almost done with this long complicated deal!

So I better rest up some.

Melissa

And the world turns again

Today was pretty slow.

I wasn’t feeling to well this morning. I think me and Ryan are both coming down with something. So I slept most of the day. No news on the deal I working on yet. Hopefully we’ll be able to close on Friday like we’re suppose to.

After Ryan got home we ate then napped awhile.

Then we went to our friend Candie’s new place. It is he boyfriends birthday. The whole thing was pretty lame. When we got there everyone else was pretty well in the bag. We had a couple but decide to leave soon after.

Of course once we got home we decided we needed some candy. So I went to Walmart and decided was starving so ended up buying some chips and a ton of candy and spending more then expected. Oops!

I have my coaching call and my last Success Series class tomorrow. I have to have my sister come pick me up after she’s done with school so I can take her car to Madison. Its getting lame real quick not having a good second car.

Sometimes I wish we could win the lottery. We never play but wouldn’t that be nice? We owe so many people and companies money its not even funny. It really stresses me out. I hate being in debt.

Someday we’ll be rich. Actually I don’t even care about being rich I just want to be stable. Not living paycheck to paycheck anymore.

OK that’s enough whining today. Night.

Melissa

Love lives on

So lots has happened since last I wrote.

Thursday I waitressed. It was OK. Trained a new girl… blah blah blah. On the way home Ryan told me J called him. I felt my heart sink to my stomach and my face flushed. I didn’t know what to say. I asked what he wanted. He said he called to apologized about what happened between us. I asked how Ryan felt about this, he said he was fine so on we went with our night.

Friday I did some real estate work then waitressed. after work we went out for a while. We started at the bar, then were suppose to go to a friends but when we got there they we’re sleeping. So on the way back we stopped at another bar that his mom was at then went home. When we got there we argued about something. I’m not even sure what it was we were fighting about! But I turned the TV off that he was watching and we talked. We talked about how things haven’t been right for a while. We actually broke up. He said we were going to break up but still live together like roommates. We would see other people but not in front of each other. Then he asked about J. He wanted to know how I felt about him. I said I didn’t know. That I thought I might like him. He said he was leaving and going to his moms. Then we fought some more. Then we cried together and got back together and cuddled.

When I woke I looked like crap. My eyes were all puffy and red. I went to work. After we went out again. It was Val’s birthday. We went to the bar till close then to Ashley’s then out for breakfast then to Val’s. She wanted to drink till 9am so we did. Then we went to our apartment and drank and talked till noonish. J came up again. I said I thought we were done with that he wanted to ask one question. He wanted to know if we held hands, I asked why, he said J told him we did. I said I think so but I didn’t remember. Then the conversation turned to the future. Ryan said he wants to Marry me and have a baby with me. Which is something he has never said. Weird!

Then all Sunday we slept.

Its so weird though. I don’t really think about J anymore. After all this crap me and Ryan have actually gotten stronger! What happened between me and J made us talk about stuff we have been avoiding for awhile! So we know where we are, we know where we want to go, we just need to figure out how to get there. And I’m looking forward to figuring out together!

I also think me and J could be good friends. I realized something when arguing with Ryan. I think I liked talking with him so much because he does talk to me. To most of his other friends I’m Ryan’s girl… thats it. They may ask how things are going and stuff but they never really talk to me like a person. I hang outwith these people almost every weekend and they don’t really know me at all! J actually wanted to get to know me and told me about himself. I like that about him. So we’ll be friends and me and Ryan will live happily ever after?

Goodnight,

Melissa

Blah

I had my coaching call by phone today. It went well. Got some great ideas and motivation. It was OK.

I am a major dumb ass though and forgot my class in Madison. I thought it was Tuesday until 6:00 and realized I completely missed it.

Had dinner at mom’s as usual.

Alicia went shopping. She bought Ryan shoes and me a hoodie.

It was nice of her.

I’m in a funk. J hasn’t text me back. I know he’s trying to avoid me. I think he’s mad I told Ryan what happened. It kinda sucks. I hoped he’d call today. He didn’t. I am all messed up inside. I’m starting to think I’m not in love with Ryan anymore. I don’t know. Sometimes I’m not so sure he’s in love with me anymore. We talked some about one night awhile ago when he got wasted and never came home. I wasn’t happy. He said maybe we need a break. I just think maybe because we’re so comfortable together that we just stay together. I’m not sure anymore. It’s not all because of J, but if I was still in love with Ryan would I be thinking about him so much? I’m not sure.

This is so confusing!!!!

Goodnight,

Melissa

blown tires and borrowed money

Today was pretty boring.

The front tires of my car finally gave out. I bought new ones and Ryan said he was going to change them a couple months ago. When he was driving to work they finally went. So he had to spend and hour putting on the dummy tire. Then he calls me mad this happened and wants me to call mom to have someone do it at my uncle’s salvage yard. I don’t know why he’s mad at me, I’ve been telling him to do it forever!

Then he had to borrow money from his Grandpa to pay back the people that loaned us the money to bail out Ryan. We told them that it might be awhile before we can pay them back. But all of a sudden its a big deal. Whatever!

So after we drove in Endeavor to do that we went to my mom’s in Portage for dinner.

Later in the night I text J to tell him I talked to Ryan and that him and that guy he fought with are talking again. He wrote back thanks and that he was sorry. I asked what he was sorry for but no answer so yeah…

He’s still n my mind all the time. I always wonder how it would be to be with him. Fantasize. No good right? I don’t know what it is about him but there’s something I can’t get to stop in my brain.

Yup I suck as a girlfriend all of a sudden.

But I do love Ryan, don’t get me wrong I just wonder sometimes. Is that normal for a 3 year relationship?

Alright goodnight,

Melissa